Here's to 2013

The rest of 2012 turned out pretty well, I think. Phil finished another semester, I scored an internship with Bleacher Report (a sports website) as an editor and we also got another raise at each of our jobs. I’m also still writing for Best Buy Mobile Magazine, which I can’t get enough of. Seriously, ever since I changed my attitude on life (see previous post), everything seems to have fallen into place, and I’m very content with where we are at right now.  

That being said, when Dec. 21 was approaching and everyone was talking about the end of the world, I was filled with dread. Not because I actually thought the world was going to end, but because the thought of IF it was going to happen, I’m not ready to meet my Maker. There is a LOT of things I would like to improve before that happens.

The biggest would probably be my spirituality. I’ve always struggled with being active in church (which includes attending all three meetings, paying tithing, going to the temple, visiting teaching, having daily prayer and scripture reading, holding FHE), not because I have doubts, but because I’ve always made work a bigger priority- and I’m ALWAYS working. I’m looking forward to the new year because that means a fresh start. Church will start earlier this year, so I will actually be able to attend it more frequently. I’ve already talked to my bishop about setting up an appointment with him to see what all Phil and I will need to do to renew our temple recommends. The rest just comes down to organization. I just need to set aside some extra time to do everything else on the above list, honestly. 

Another thing I would like to work on is our future family. Still no baby for us, but I blame that on myself. As some of you know, I’ve always been on the fence about having kids. It terrifies me. But, I can’t imagine going through life without having them. This next year, Phil and I will celebrate our fourth anniversary and turn 26 and 25, respectively. And, that just makes me feel OLD. Everyone else our age has two kids already and most have been married for a shorter period of time. This year, I’ve let my fears of children and of being a terrible mother hold me back. I’m tired of that. I’m still unsure of how to overcome it, but I’m determined to get pregnant, anyhow. I’m not sure that’s the wisest move, forcing that on myself, but a few weeks ago when I declared I just didn’t want to try anymore, I just got the worst feeling in the world. I woke Phil up in the middle of the night saying that it was godly sorrow plaguing me (when I’m extremely tired, I do say some crazy things), but the feeling I received was pretty terrible and it made me rethink my statement. Any suggestions to help me get past this?

And, I guess, the last of my “New Year resolutions” is to be a better wife. I want to help my husband succeed. He only has TWO semesters left, and will hopefully graduate December 2013. Right now, we’re applying to a bunch of internships for him for the upcoming summer (he already has an interview with Amazon!), and I hope it works out. I’ve also neglected housework and cooking since I’ve been so focused on working at Best Buy, writing for Best Buy Mobile Magazine and editing for my internship (which is roughly 55 hours per week overall), so I want to definitely work on that. A clean home is a happy home! Phil and I’s big project is to declutter our apartment this next year, so we won’t have to take as much time to clean up. I pinned a plan that should make that easier on the both of us.

Overall, I’m excited to see what 2013 brings. I see nothing but progress in our future!

Enjoying each day to the fullest

Nothing much has changed since my last post entry. Except my attitude, I think. For the whole month of September I experienced so many negative emotions, ranging from anxiousness to anger to depression, about my life and my future. If you had asked my 19-year-old self where I saw myself in five years, I probably would have never foresaw being where I currently am. I bet I would have expected to be a lot more successful at a job I loved by the time I turned 24, with Phil out of school and a baby on the way, if not already here.

And, you know what? Dealing with those emotions seriously suck! They don't get you anywhere. In fact, they set you back even more. General Conference couldn't have come at a better time for me. I really needed a spiritual boost. While all of the talks were wonderful, one that I really felt spoke to me was Elder Uchtdorf's talk during the Saturday morning session. Now, the following is not verbatim, but I wanted to share what points I got out of his talk the most:

• External circumstances don't affect our circumstances - or even matter.
• Life isn't a race, it's a journey. Don't solely focus on the finish line.
• Look less with our eyes and more with our hearts.
• Spend more time with loved ones, stride to become the person God wants me to be, and find happiness regardless of my circumstances.

During September I was acting so impatient of things to come that I didn't take the time to appreciate my surroundings and those around me. Because it seemed that everyone else has progressed a lot further in life than I have, I guess I assumed that when I hit those stages, I would automatically be 10x happier. But as Uchtdorf was talking about - and from past experiences - I know that won't be necessarily true. So, I am trying to make the most of life the way it is now. Because I know that when we finally do have a baby, Phil and I won't have as much of the freedom and quality time that we get to enjoy now. I know that when Phil finally does graduate, we won't get to spend as much time with our families because we will probably move out of town, if not out of state. And, even if Best Buy isn't my ideal job, I still get to write and I love the people I work with. Life is definitely not as bad as I was making it out to be, and I am going to focus on the blessings I do have and be happy! :)

Anxious about the future

I can't believe it's September already. This year has been going by so fast. Our summer was okay, nothing exciting really happened... We were planning on a camping trip to Island Park and Yellowstone in August for our annual vacation, but it didn't work out because my mom needed us to help take my brother, Justin, up to school. Which wasn't a problem, I am so excited for him and I want to make sure he is successful in school. He is going to University of Idaho and, if you have never taken a trip up there, the drive is pretty terrible. It takes about the same time to get there like it would to Las Vegas but because there is nothing but road and mountains, it made it feel like it was so much longer. We got off to a rocky start too. Phil got a speeding ticket and my mom needed to go to the restroom every half hour, so we had to stop way too much.

But, we finally made it up there safely and we were blown away by the campus. It is so huge and pretty up there. It's also right on the border of Idaho and Washington, if you didn't know, so we went shopping in Pullman, Washington just to say we've been to the state. :) My brother is rooming with his best friend growing up so even though we miss him, we know he is in safe hands. Plus, we make sure to skype every Sunday.

We finally had a chance to go see Wicked and it was as amazing as everyone says. We had such a good time! If you haven't seen it, really, you need to put it on your bucket list!

Phil started school a couple weeks ago, as well. He is taking 17 credits, so he has a LOT on his plate. So far, though, it sounds like it's going really well, so hopefully that stays that way. I can't believe he will finally graduate next December. It cannot come fast enough! To try to make things easier on him (he has to commute down to Poky four days a week), I am trying to find a job in Pocatello so we can move next to campus. I had a really good interview with a bank down there, so I am hoping it will work out. I should hear back from them this weekend or the beginning of next week.

I really am very anxious about our future right now. No matter where we end up, I am just so ready to be done with Best Buy. While I have loved working there, it's been a struggle supporting Phil and I with the low income I earn there. I did end up getting the freelance writing job with Best Buy Mobile Magazine and I LOVE writing for them, but I only get to write once a month and that's just not enough for me! (BTW, if you haven't had a chance to read my articles, please visit www.bestbuymobile.com.) Especially with Phil taking so many credits, I don't want him to be working - I just want him to focus on school. I've applied to jobs like crazy and I have gotten a few interviews, but nothing has been finalized yet.

I'm also getting stressed about our future family. We have been trying to get pregnant for five months now and no news yet. I know that it can take up a year for a couple to get pregnant, but it's frustrating to me, especially when I see everyone else's announcements on Facebook. I am just so ready to take the next step in life and it seems so easy for everyone else. I know, I need to be more patient and there is so much I can do to improve myself before having a baby. And, we do have plenty of time to have a family - I just barely turned 24 (though I do feel ancient all of a sudden, haha) But, it's still hard....

So many things can happen within the next couple of months, it's scary because I feel like I don't have control of anything. But, I'm ready for change, that's for sure, even if it is scary. Until then, whatever may happen, I will just focus on getting Phil through school and put my faith in the Lord. I just hope everything will work out in the end!

Exciting plans for the future!

So far 2012 has treated us really well. I am still loving my job at Best Buy and Phil is having a really good semester at Idaho State University. The first few months have passed without anything exciting to report, but so much has happened this month it's ridiculous- but very exciting!

First of all, we had our minds set on transferring to Utah State University since October due to so many changes in the computer science program at ISU that no one had a clue of what was going on. Phil would take classes only to find out they weren't necessary after all and it's just been a waste of time and money. We love the atmosphere in Logan and were really excited about moving, and this month we were going to go down and look at apartments until... Phil received an email from Dr. Beard, who is the head of ISU's computer science department. Though it took the school two semesters, the revised program has been finalized and if Phil sticks with ISU, he only has THREE semesters left! I know that still sounds like a lot, but to us that is like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. And, at USU, we were ready to commit to five semesters there. So chopping off a whole year is such a relief! At this point, Phil will have to take his remaining classes in Pocatello, but for now we are going to stay in Idaho Falls.

Second, though in our last blog entry we announced we were going to start trying for a family in August, the more we thought and prayed about it, the more we felt we should start trying now. Because I've been on birth control for almost 3.5 years, we probably won't even conceive until around August anyways, so we're prepping now. Plus, by the time I do have a baby, Phil will only have one semester left! We are so excited. It's going to definitely be a huge change, but we feel we are ready for this next step in our relationship. Wish us luck!!!

Third, we celebrated our THIRD anniversary! It's so crazy that we've been married for so long, it's gone by so fast. To celebrate, we went down to Utah for a few days. After going to the Beehive Grill (which I love!) we went to a stand-up comedy show with Phil's sister, Stephanie, and her husband. We sat in the front row because Stephanie wanted the comedian to pick up out of the crowd- which he did and it was hilarious. The opening act was a comedian/magician and he actually called Phil up to the stage to help with a magic trick. It was so awesome, you have to ask me to tell you the detailed story of it. Seriously. This was the first comedy show Phil and I have ever been to and, while it was inappropriate at times, overall we had a blast. The next day, we had the chance to visit our friends Chanae and David who moved down to Provo and it was so, so much fun to catch up. I love those two! After that we went up to Salt Lake City, spent the night there and went swimming. We ate at the Red Iguana, which is apparently a legit Mexican restaurant to go to. Our third and final day there, we went to the Hogle Zoo and the new City Creek Center. If you haven't been to either of those places, you have to go!!! The way the Hogle Zoo is designed, you are seriously face-to-face with the animals there. It was such a neat experience, And, City Creek Center? We had lunch at the Cheesecake Factory there, which is always a treat, but we had the most fun looking at the prices there. They have legit designer stores there that you would see celebrities at. Tiffany's and Gucci, just to name a couple. I almost died when I saw jeans for $200, but there were $700 shoes and $1200 shirts for sale too. It was crazy- I loved it!

What's in store for us for the next few months? Well, Phil (who is turning 25 this week!) applied for a summer internship in Salt Lake City to work on video games for Disney, so we will see where that goes. I may move up to the gaming department at Best Buy (and, no, we're not closing) and I'm hoping to get a freelance writing gig for the company's mobile magazine. Wicked is going to be in SLC during July and August, so we're planning on going to that- soooo excited! And, we're going to just keep working hard and keep trying for a baby. We feel so blessed right now and are looking forward to what this year brings us.

Looking forward to 2012

Looking back on it, 2011 was only a so-so year for me. I didn't feel like I made much progress in my life. I had a stressful job the first half of it, so I didn't let myself enjoy life like a gal my age should- I let myself turn into a workaholic and was blocking everyone close to me out. Not that everything was bad in the first half of 2011. A couple of exciting things happened: My sister-in-law got married in January and it was a beautiful wedding!!! Phil and I celebrated our second anniversary in April. And, my first ever niece was born in May.

But seriously, after I quit my job, it seemed that life improved dramatically. Phil and I went on vacation to Las Vegas in August. In September, I turned 23 and won tickets to a Disney on Ice show, which was awesome. And, I am at a really fun job, even though it's in retail, but I am hoping to work my way up. Oh, and Phil got through two great semesters at ISU and accepted into Utah State!!!

While we still have our trials, I feel so much better about the way our life is headed now- and, we have some big goals we would like to accomplish this year. Phil and I are feeling so good about Utah State. We have a couple of obstacles in our way at the moment, but if we are able to overcome those, we will be headed to Logan in May or June. We will celebrate our THIRD anniversary this year and turn 25 and 24, respectively. And, while we have been pushing it off for a while, we finally sat down and talked about our future family... and decided we will start trying for our first baby in August, at the earliest. That will give us plenty of time to prepare and by the time our little one comes into this world, Phil will only have two more semesters to go!

I think this is going to be a good year. :)