Enjoying each day to the fullest

Nothing much has changed since my last post entry. Except my attitude, I think. For the whole month of September I experienced so many negative emotions, ranging from anxiousness to anger to depression, about my life and my future. If you had asked my 19-year-old self where I saw myself in five years, I probably would have never foresaw being where I currently am. I bet I would have expected to be a lot more successful at a job I loved by the time I turned 24, with Phil out of school and a baby on the way, if not already here.

And, you know what? Dealing with those emotions seriously suck! They don't get you anywhere. In fact, they set you back even more. General Conference couldn't have come at a better time for me. I really needed a spiritual boost. While all of the talks were wonderful, one that I really felt spoke to me was Elder Uchtdorf's talk during the Saturday morning session. Now, the following is not verbatim, but I wanted to share what points I got out of his talk the most:

• External circumstances don't affect our circumstances - or even matter.
• Life isn't a race, it's a journey. Don't solely focus on the finish line.
• Look less with our eyes and more with our hearts.
• Spend more time with loved ones, stride to become the person God wants me to be, and find happiness regardless of my circumstances.

During September I was acting so impatient of things to come that I didn't take the time to appreciate my surroundings and those around me. Because it seemed that everyone else has progressed a lot further in life than I have, I guess I assumed that when I hit those stages, I would automatically be 10x happier. But as Uchtdorf was talking about - and from past experiences - I know that won't be necessarily true. So, I am trying to make the most of life the way it is now. Because I know that when we finally do have a baby, Phil and I won't have as much of the freedom and quality time that we get to enjoy now. I know that when Phil finally does graduate, we won't get to spend as much time with our families because we will probably move out of town, if not out of state. And, even if Best Buy isn't my ideal job, I still get to write and I love the people I work with. Life is definitely not as bad as I was making it out to be, and I am going to focus on the blessings I do have and be happy! :)

Anxious about the future

I can't believe it's September already. This year has been going by so fast. Our summer was okay, nothing exciting really happened... We were planning on a camping trip to Island Park and Yellowstone in August for our annual vacation, but it didn't work out because my mom needed us to help take my brother, Justin, up to school. Which wasn't a problem, I am so excited for him and I want to make sure he is successful in school. He is going to University of Idaho and, if you have never taken a trip up there, the drive is pretty terrible. It takes about the same time to get there like it would to Las Vegas but because there is nothing but road and mountains, it made it feel like it was so much longer. We got off to a rocky start too. Phil got a speeding ticket and my mom needed to go to the restroom every half hour, so we had to stop way too much.

But, we finally made it up there safely and we were blown away by the campus. It is so huge and pretty up there. It's also right on the border of Idaho and Washington, if you didn't know, so we went shopping in Pullman, Washington just to say we've been to the state. :) My brother is rooming with his best friend growing up so even though we miss him, we know he is in safe hands. Plus, we make sure to skype every Sunday.

We finally had a chance to go see Wicked and it was as amazing as everyone says. We had such a good time! If you haven't seen it, really, you need to put it on your bucket list!

Phil started school a couple weeks ago, as well. He is taking 17 credits, so he has a LOT on his plate. So far, though, it sounds like it's going really well, so hopefully that stays that way. I can't believe he will finally graduate next December. It cannot come fast enough! To try to make things easier on him (he has to commute down to Poky four days a week), I am trying to find a job in Pocatello so we can move next to campus. I had a really good interview with a bank down there, so I am hoping it will work out. I should hear back from them this weekend or the beginning of next week.

I really am very anxious about our future right now. No matter where we end up, I am just so ready to be done with Best Buy. While I have loved working there, it's been a struggle supporting Phil and I with the low income I earn there. I did end up getting the freelance writing job with Best Buy Mobile Magazine and I LOVE writing for them, but I only get to write once a month and that's just not enough for me! (BTW, if you haven't had a chance to read my articles, please visit www.bestbuymobile.com.) Especially with Phil taking so many credits, I don't want him to be working - I just want him to focus on school. I've applied to jobs like crazy and I have gotten a few interviews, but nothing has been finalized yet.

I'm also getting stressed about our future family. We have been trying to get pregnant for five months now and no news yet. I know that it can take up a year for a couple to get pregnant, but it's frustrating to me, especially when I see everyone else's announcements on Facebook. I am just so ready to take the next step in life and it seems so easy for everyone else. I know, I need to be more patient and there is so much I can do to improve myself before having a baby. And, we do have plenty of time to have a family - I just barely turned 24 (though I do feel ancient all of a sudden, haha) But, it's still hard....

So many things can happen within the next couple of months, it's scary because I feel like I don't have control of anything. But, I'm ready for change, that's for sure, even if it is scary. Until then, whatever may happen, I will just focus on getting Phil through school and put my faith in the Lord. I just hope everything will work out in the end!

Exciting plans for the future!

So far 2012 has treated us really well. I am still loving my job at Best Buy and Phil is having a really good semester at Idaho State University. The first few months have passed without anything exciting to report, but so much has happened this month it's ridiculous- but very exciting!

First of all, we had our minds set on transferring to Utah State University since October due to so many changes in the computer science program at ISU that no one had a clue of what was going on. Phil would take classes only to find out they weren't necessary after all and it's just been a waste of time and money. We love the atmosphere in Logan and were really excited about moving, and this month we were going to go down and look at apartments until... Phil received an email from Dr. Beard, who is the head of ISU's computer science department. Though it took the school two semesters, the revised program has been finalized and if Phil sticks with ISU, he only has THREE semesters left! I know that still sounds like a lot, but to us that is like seeing the light at the end of the tunnel. And, at USU, we were ready to commit to five semesters there. So chopping off a whole year is such a relief! At this point, Phil will have to take his remaining classes in Pocatello, but for now we are going to stay in Idaho Falls.

Second, though in our last blog entry we announced we were going to start trying for a family in August, the more we thought and prayed about it, the more we felt we should start trying now. Because I've been on birth control for almost 3.5 years, we probably won't even conceive until around August anyways, so we're prepping now. Plus, by the time I do have a baby, Phil will only have one semester left! We are so excited. It's going to definitely be a huge change, but we feel we are ready for this next step in our relationship. Wish us luck!!!

Third, we celebrated our THIRD anniversary! It's so crazy that we've been married for so long, it's gone by so fast. To celebrate, we went down to Utah for a few days. After going to the Beehive Grill (which I love!) we went to a stand-up comedy show with Phil's sister, Stephanie, and her husband. We sat in the front row because Stephanie wanted the comedian to pick up out of the crowd- which he did and it was hilarious. The opening act was a comedian/magician and he actually called Phil up to the stage to help with a magic trick. It was so awesome, you have to ask me to tell you the detailed story of it. Seriously. This was the first comedy show Phil and I have ever been to and, while it was inappropriate at times, overall we had a blast. The next day, we had the chance to visit our friends Chanae and David who moved down to Provo and it was so, so much fun to catch up. I love those two! After that we went up to Salt Lake City, spent the night there and went swimming. We ate at the Red Iguana, which is apparently a legit Mexican restaurant to go to. Our third and final day there, we went to the Hogle Zoo and the new City Creek Center. If you haven't been to either of those places, you have to go!!! The way the Hogle Zoo is designed, you are seriously face-to-face with the animals there. It was such a neat experience, And, City Creek Center? We had lunch at the Cheesecake Factory there, which is always a treat, but we had the most fun looking at the prices there. They have legit designer stores there that you would see celebrities at. Tiffany's and Gucci, just to name a couple. I almost died when I saw jeans for $200, but there were $700 shoes and $1200 shirts for sale too. It was crazy- I loved it!

What's in store for us for the next few months? Well, Phil (who is turning 25 this week!) applied for a summer internship in Salt Lake City to work on video games for Disney, so we will see where that goes. I may move up to the gaming department at Best Buy (and, no, we're not closing) and I'm hoping to get a freelance writing gig for the company's mobile magazine. Wicked is going to be in SLC during July and August, so we're planning on going to that- soooo excited! And, we're going to just keep working hard and keep trying for a baby. We feel so blessed right now and are looking forward to what this year brings us.

Looking forward to 2012

Looking back on it, 2011 was only a so-so year for me. I didn't feel like I made much progress in my life. I had a stressful job the first half of it, so I didn't let myself enjoy life like a gal my age should- I let myself turn into a workaholic and was blocking everyone close to me out. Not that everything was bad in the first half of 2011. A couple of exciting things happened: My sister-in-law got married in January and it was a beautiful wedding!!! Phil and I celebrated our second anniversary in April. And, my first ever niece was born in May.

But seriously, after I quit my job, it seemed that life improved dramatically. Phil and I went on vacation to Las Vegas in August. In September, I turned 23 and won tickets to a Disney on Ice show, which was awesome. And, I am at a really fun job, even though it's in retail, but I am hoping to work my way up. Oh, and Phil got through two great semesters at ISU and accepted into Utah State!!!

While we still have our trials, I feel so much better about the way our life is headed now- and, we have some big goals we would like to accomplish this year. Phil and I are feeling so good about Utah State. We have a couple of obstacles in our way at the moment, but if we are able to overcome those, we will be headed to Logan in May or June. We will celebrate our THIRD anniversary this year and turn 25 and 24, respectively. And, while we have been pushing it off for a while, we finally sat down and talked about our future family... and decided we will start trying for our first baby in August, at the earliest. That will give us plenty of time to prepare and by the time our little one comes into this world, Phil will only have two more semesters to go!

I think this is going to be a good year. :)

Update on the Bratt family

We've had a couple of exciting events take place since our vacation to Las Vegas.

Phil is thinking about transferring to Utah State University, so we decided to go on a campus tour specifically for transfer students Oct. 28- and it was so much fun! We went on our on private tour and the student ambassador who was showing us around was awesome. We really liked him. Logan and USU is so much bigger than Rexburg and BYU-Idaho that I felt like a little freshman. I was blown away on how large the area was and how many students go there. I loved how the campus was so alive and active- and everyone was so nice to each other. I can see why the ambassador said how there is so much school spirit at the school.

After the tour, we were treated to an all-you-can-eat buffet on campus and then we went to talk to a computer science adviser to see how long Phil has left in school if he does decide to transfer. It turns out he has five semesters to go! That's the exact same as Idaho State University, so we were relieved. Afterward, we met up with an old friend of mine and her husband for some ice cream. It was so much fun to catch up since it's been 9 years since we've seen each other! After the day ended, we totally had our minds set on transferring.

But, we just found out recently that ISU is changing its computer science program so that it will be shorter. So while we did submit an application to USU, we are going to wait and see how much the program will be shortened.

Until then, we thought of so many reasons why we should go to USU: 1. We wouldn't have to look for new jobs- there is both a Best Buy and Kohl's in Logan, so we would just both transfer. Whereas, Pocatello has neither and we know we can't stay in Idaho Falls for that much longer. Well we could, but that's an extra $600/semester to commute to the main campus. 2. We know people there. I have old friends attending USU, plus Phil's sister and her husband go to school there, so we would see them a lot more! And, our best friends are moving to the Salt Lake City area at the end of December, so we would be closer to them, as well. 3. The atmosphere is amazing. You can tell the students really love it there, whereas everyone I know attending ISU hates it. And, being on that kind of campus would help Phil in school, as well, I think.

We will just have to wait and see if he is accepted!

Another exciting event that just took place last week was that I won four tickets to the Disney on Ice show in SLC from a local radio station! I signed up to win on Facebook, but then I actually ran into the DJ who was holding the contest at work. I told him how much I would love to go and asked him how the best way to win would be. I think he really liked my excitement because the next day, I was informed I won! I was sooo excited! The radio station that hooked me up? 100.7 My FM. :)

Phil and I invited our besties, Chanae and David to go with us and we had a blast! We went yesterday and we ended up with pretty good seats. We had to get there early to get seats, so afterward, we had four hours of extra time on our hands. We decided to have a late lunch/early dinner at The Cheesecake Factory- yum, yum, yum!!! I got the four-cheese pasta and it was amazing. :) All the food there is amazing, but it is pricey. For lunch, it cost Phil and I $40. But, it was so worth it. Of course, we got cheesecake to go (we got the ultimate red velvet). I was expecting us to eat our cheesecake before the show, but everyone said it would be better to save it for the ride home. Wonderful cheesecake so close and yet so far!!! :P We walked around The Gateway while we waited and finally it was showtime! We felt a little out of place because we were surrounded by kids and their parents, but we still enjoyed ourselves.

Here is a look at what was performed:







I think we all agreed that our favorite scene was the one with Simba and Nala with the "Can you feel the love tonight" music. They were by far the best skaters and did a lot of neat tricks. But, we also loved the Tangled scene and the last performance where all the princesses and their princes came out and skated together. The trip was so much fun and so worth it. I am so glad I won those tickets!!! And, it ended perfectly with cheesecake. :) I was so full and tired though, that I couldn't eat all mine, so it's waiting in the fridge for me....

Las Vegas vacation

For months we've had a Las Vegas trip planned. After I quit my job, we decided we shouldn't go since we had to use the money we saved up to pay rent- we were pretty disappointed. We had invested $600 into the trip already on a hotel and a couple of shows and to make things even worse, we were having a hard time selling them.

On Monday, Aug. 1, the day we had planned to leave for the trip, Phil's mom sat us down and told us we might as well go since we put so much into it and to just spend money on gas and food- and be very frugal even on that. We were wary about it at first, but after a while we just threw caution in the wind. Phil already requested the week off, so what else were we going to do? We ran home, packed quickly, and just left- I don't think we've ever been so spontaneous before.

Since the original plan was to get a hotel that evening, since we didn't want to spend more money than we should, we decided to stay with Phil's sister, Stephanie, and her husband, Bryson, at the last minute- and they were great hosts! We've been wanting to visit them for a while, but never really had the chance, so we were all pretty stoked. That night we had a delicious homemade dinner and cookies- recipes I'm totally going to steal- and just spent the evening talking and watching YouTube videos. Then we crashed in their office on an air mattress we brought. We enjoyed ourselves so much, we called our hotel- Hampton Inn, right off the Strip- and said we would come a day late. The next day, we went on a tour at Anniversary Inn to see all the themed rooms while Stephanie was at work. She works there on the weekends and can get family members in for only $50. Since my birthday is coming up, we decided we should take advantage of that. :) Afterward, we went back to the apartment and played Super Smash Brothers Melee for FOUR hours with Bryson. I played Kirby the whole time and I think I only one twice. My thumbs were so sore by the time Stephanie came home. I wish I could be like her. Right when she came home, she immediately started making dinner for everyone. I think Phil would like if I was more like her too. :P We played a roleplaying game after dinner, which was actually really fun, and then headed to bed.

The next morning- Wednesday- Phil and I set out to Vegas. And this is what we met:




The lightning came so close to our car, it was so scary. But, we made it to Vegas safely, checked in then headed to the Strip. The hotel offered a complimentary shuttle, which was so nice since we did not want to drive. To save even more money, we decided to walk the Strip, which turned out to be a BAD idea. It is way longer than it looks. To get from Mandalay Bay to Treasure Island, it takes 1.5 hours. Our feet were killing us by the time we got there- it was where our first show was.

We went to see Cirque du Soleil Mystère. It was a very interesting show. The acrobatics were amazing, I've never seen it done so well before, but had weird characters and scenes...so it wasn't my favorite. The walk back was terrible and we woke up very sore- isn't that just sad? We decided we wouldn't walk again, so we bought tickets to a hop on/hop off city tour, which was way fun. We learned so much about Las Vegas and its history. For lunch we went to the Hard Rock Cafe, the third of its kind together- we've also been to New York's and San Diego's. I've also been to Orlando's. The food is amazing and the memorabilia is so cool to see.



I always get the twisted mac, chicken, and cheese- the best $20 mac and cheese in the world! Afterward, we hopped back on the tour bus and went to Madame Tussauds Wax Museum. We've been to one before in Los Angeles, but this one was cooler because the stars aren't behind rope, you could actually pose with them. We had a lot of fun with that. I was so silly, I actually got star struck once in a while, haha, but Phil was giving some of them attitude. :P



That night, we went to see the Blue Man Group at the Venetian. They were so crazy and hilarious and very talented with music, Phil and I both loved the show. It was really fun because there was a lot of audience participation, it made the show even better. I would definitely recommend going to the show! In the end, they threw toilet paper over the WHOLE audience and we all had a dance party in it. Of course, we ripped a nice piece off as a souvenir. :) After that we went back to the hotel. I really wanted to go on the gondala ride the Venetian offered, but there was a huge line and we were exhausted. Plus, Vegas is completely different at night. It's a lot creepier!

The next day (Friday), we took it easy because our whole bodies were sore from walking around so much, though the city tour helped a lot. We decided to hang out in Las Vegas off the strip and went on a free tour of the Ethel Mars Chocolate Factory- they make everything! M&Ms, skittles, twix, you name it. At the end, we got free samples of chocolate and it was seriously the best chocolate we have ever had. We ended up buying more chocolate. It was sooo good! There was also a botanical garden outside of the chocolate factory, so we walked around that for a while. I have never been to one before, so I thought it was really neat.



For the rest of the day, we just hung out in our hotel room (which was really nice) and watched television. We had no idea that walking around in 114 degree weather would be so exhausting! I drank so much water, it was crazy. Overall, our trip was really fun, but we're glad we're home. Though we came to this:



It's the same picture, I know, but I swear it's the exact same storm we drove through on our way to Vegas. Check out more pictures on Facebook! :)

Walking into the unknown

Exactly two weeks ago I quit my job at a weekly newspaper here in Southeast Idaho. I loved my job, it was pretty much perfect- except my boss. She was a horrible wretched woman who tormented and manipulated me whenever she could. I think it was because I wouldn't stand up for myself- she always told me how easily replaceable I was and I was afraid to call on her bluff. She was so hard to work with- one minute she was screaming at me about a problem she set up herself, then the next she was acting like a five-year-old and being so unprofessional. She is the manager there, but she is so caught up in her own world and excepts everyone to do everything for her, she didn't even know the current subscription rates. She demands respect, but from the moment I started working there, I was completely disgusted by her personality and her actions. I contemplated talking to human resources a couple of times, but then I was afraid of what she might do to get back at me. I put up with it for a year, but finally I couldn't take it anymore. It came to the point where my mental and physical health were in danger and this job was taking a toll on my relationships with family and friends. I got fell into depression, curled up into a ball, and shied away from everything and everyone. Even church. That took a especially big toll on me. I let the darkness of Satan seep into me and let it stay for way too long.

When I finally quit, I felt exhilarated for the first day. Then common sense hit me- how was I supposed to provide for my family and pay the bills? My stress level went up even higher and I would burst into tears for hours. I called a friend in my ward who I hadn't talked to in what seemed months and she immediately told me to talk to the bishop. I did, though I was so scared of what he might say. But, it was worth it and took a huge load off of my chest. I had waited for so long for Heavenly Father to bless me with another job to get out of the hellhole I was in. I had forgotten that He is not going to hold my hand throughout my entire life. I needed to make my own decisions.

I went to church for the first time in a very long time on Sunday. It was such a great blessing to take the sacrament again and to listen to the gospel. I'm slowly pushing the darkness out of my system and at times the old me comes out. Though I know I have a ways to go. I just can't wait to go back to the temple. Until then, I am working on healing myself mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically. I even have a job interview tomorrow at Old Navy. I hope it goes well. I'm going to miss writing, but I don't have to give it up completely- now I have time to actually work on my blog!